Favors
by Pepe's Purple Sash
Summary: Random, slightly strange oneshot. “Outside Madame Mouchoir’s Boudoir, Velma sighed, tapping her foot. They’d been outside for a full ten minutes, and Anybodys hadn’t moved so much as an inch toward the door.”


Summary: Random, slightly strange oneshot. "Outside Madame Mouchoir's Boudoir, Velma sighed, tapping her foot. They'd been outside for a full ten minutes, and Anybodys hadn't moved so much as an inch toward the door."

Author's Note: We don't really have much of an explanation for this; basically this is a result of us spending too much time talking to each other in the wee hours of the morning after watching _West Side Story_ sixty-eleven times. One of our conversations ultimately resulted in us saying, "Let's write a fic where Velma takes Anybodys lingerie shopping!" And...this was the result. Enjoy!

-

Anybodys paced outside of Doc's, twisting her hands and wondering how the _hell_ she was going to make this request. The door opened and Velma and Ice strolled out, arms around each other and faces grinning. Anybodys squared her shoulders and stepped forward. "Hey, Velma? Can I talk to ya? Um, in private?" she added, glancing at Ice.

Velma stopped short, her eyes narrowing as she glanced at the tomboy in surprise. "What for?" she asked warily. What could Anybodys possibly want to talk to her about?

"Can I just talk to ya?" Anybodys asked, trying to keep her patience.

Velma eyed her, then abruptly nodded. "I'll be just a second," she told Ice, who shrugged and retreated back into Doc's. Velma faced Anybodys, putting her hands on her hips. "What d'ya want, Anybodys?" she asked.

Anybodys fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. "I need ta ask a favor of ya." She took a deep breath. "I need ta go…shoppin'. For…stuff. Of a sexual nature. An' I don't exactly want Pauline goin' with me."

Velma blinked. This was definitely unexpected. "What...kind of stuff, exactly?" she asked uncertainly.

Anybodys rubbed her arm. "Like…sexy…stuff," she muttered, praying her humiliation would come to an end.

"_Oh_," nodded Velma, her confusion clearing. "Lingerie." That was a subject she definitely knew about. Then she processed the request. "Wait, _you_ need lingerie?" she asked, arching an eyebrow.

Anybodys flushed. "Um...yes."

Velma let this sink in for a minute, then shrugged. She knew Graziella or Pauline would've scoffed at the girl's request, and Velma wasn't exactly fond of Anybodys, either, but she was all for anything that might make the tomboy a bit more feminine. "Okay," she said. "If ya really want. Meet me here at three; I gotta stop by Madame Mouchoir's, anyway. I can't stay too long, though, I'm meeting Ice at eight."

Anybodys gave a short jerk of her head. "'Kay," she said gruffly, then bolted.

Velma, staring after her, sighed. This was definitely going to be an interesting afternoon.

-

Outside Madame Mouchoir's Boudoir, Velma sighed, tapping her foot. They'd been outside for a full ten minutes, and Anybodys hadn't moved so much as an inch toward the door. "Come on, Anybodys, ya wanna do this, or not? You're the one who asked me to go with ya," she reminded the tomboy.

Anybodys tugged at the frayed hem of her shirt, wrinkling her nose. "Aw, gimme a minute; I gotta prepare myself for all the perfume that's gonna be in there!"

Velma rolled her eyes and pulled a little bottle out of her purse. "_There_," she said, spritzing Anybodys with Chanel No. 5, "now ya match. Let's go."

Anybodys yelped and tried brushing the stuff off of her before realizing it would do no good. She glared at Velma. "Yer lucky yer a girl, otherwise I might hitcha. That an' Ice'd kill me."

Velma arched one eyebrow, unimpressed. "Yeah, sure," she said dismissively. "Now c'mon."

Anybodys huffed and followed Velma inside, arms folded over her flat chest self-consciously. Just as she'd feared, she was immediately accosted by the scent of hundreds of different perfumes. Her mouth fell open as she looked at all the lingerie around her. This was _paradise_ for girls like Pauline and Bernice. Anybodys unconsciously patted the money in her pocket. She had nicked a wallet from an Emerald who was passed out in front of O'Grady's Pub. She had some money, mostly pocket money her sister had given her, but she wasn't sure she wanted to spend her own money on something that might be a total bust anyway. But why waste her own dough when there was some just lying in front of her?

Velma sighed as her gaze swept over the silk and lace before her—she could  
already pick out a dozen things she wanted—then sighed again. She had to concentrate on Anybodys first, Velma reminded herself, because who knew when a girly fit would come over the tomboy again? She had to strike while the iron was hot.

A short, wide, owlish-looking woman bustled over. "Vilhelmina!" she beamed. "I 'ave been 'oping you would come in. I 'ave some new sets you weel like, very much."

Velma smiled down at her. "Thanks, Madame Mouchoir, but I'm actually shoppin' for her, first," she said, indicating Anybodys.

Madam Mouchoir frowned, peering through her spectacles critically. "And what 'ave we 'ere?" she asked, circling the redhead. "You 'ave not been in my boudoir before, oui?"

Anybodys had a sickened look on her face. "Definitely _not_," she agreed, trying not to show her revulsion for all the lace and frills surrounding her. She was still having trouble figuring out what had empowered her to ask Velma to take her here and, more importantly, why she hadn't run screaming the minute she'd seen the window displays.

Oh, that's right; it had been the image of A-Rab's face when he saw her in it. That image alone was worth the lace and frills and perfume and Velma's skeptical face and the French woman who so obviously thought she was a lost cause.

Madam Mouchoir clucked her tongue. "We weel 'ave to get Philippe," she announced before gliding away.

Velma smiled faintly.

Anybodys's face paled. "_Who_?" she asked, pitch rising. "Who's Philippe? An' why the hell do I need him?!"

Velma didn't have time to answer before a very tall, very handsome dark-haired man strode up, flashing a gleaming smile. "_Bonjour,_ _mesdemoiselles_," he purred, before his gaze fell on Velma and he backed away, terrified. "_Ton_ _ami_—'eis not 'ere, is 'e?"

Velma blushed. "No, Philippe." She vividly remembered the one and only time Philippe had ever met Ice. So, apparently, did Philippe, who visibly relaxed.

"Ah. _Bon_," he said, the smile reappearing on his face, though much less brightly. "Now, _Madame_ said there was a lady 'ere that needed my services?"

Velma gestured toward Anybodys. "Yeah. This is...Annie," she said, hesitating before the name. She didn't think it would be a good idea to introduce her as "Anybodys."

Philippe smiled at Anybodys. "_Enchantée_, Annie," he said, taking her hand and kissing it. He drew out a measuring tape. "Now. Let us begin."

Anybodys gaped at the pansy, too stunned to yell at him or spit on him for kissing her hand. She regained her senses, however, as he attempted to wind the measuring tape around her chest. "The _hell_ are you doin'?!" she shouted, causing several people nearby to look up in alarm. "I could rip off your scrawny little balls, y'know!"

Velma put her head in her hands as the Frenchman leapt away in terror. Philippe was never going to speak to her again.

"Anybodys, look, he's just measurin'!" she explained exasperatedly, putting her hands on the tomboy's shoulders. "We have to know what size ya are so we can get ya somethin'! Sorry," she added in an undertone to Philippe.

The tall man eyed Velma suspiciously, still quivering. "You 'ave ze most interesting friends, _mademoiselle_."

"Don't I know it," muttered Velma darkly. "Now, look, Anybodys, just let him measure ya. He's a professional. It's his job."

Anybodys scoffed as she put her hands on her hips. "His job is ta measure girls' chests? He'd better be a fag." She eyed Philippe suspiciously. "Are ya? Never mind; I don't wanna know." She rolled her eyes, dropping her arms. "Fine. Measure away. But I'm warnin' you, any funny business…" She made a slicing motion across her throat and a sound effect to warn him.

Philippe proceeded to measure her, but he maintained a notable distance and made sure to be very cautious with his hands when moving around her chest. Anybodys glared at him the whole time, and he was done in about thirty seconds; he leapt away almost as soon as he had taken the last measurement. "If _mademoiselle_ weel follow me, I zeenk we 'ave somezing…"

Anybodys glanced at Velma. "_Is_ he gay, or just European?"

Velma shrugged. "Dunno. But if Ice asks, he's gay."

Philippe turned around with another very big smile plastered on his face. "'Ere we are, ladies," he said, indicating a table in the very back of the Boudoir.

Velma peered closely at the white, cotton triangle bras, then frowned, drawing Philippe aside. "Hey," she whispered, "aren't those the training bras?"

"Oui," said Philippe, nodding earnestly. "_Mademoiselle_ is a 32A. And eef zees eez 'er first brassiere..."

Velma shushed him quickly, not wanting Anybodys to traumatize the poor man again. "Philippe, why don't you let me handle this?" she suggested tactfully. "I know this place almost as well as you do, and plus," she smiled thinly, "that girl don't scare me one bit."

Philippe beamed. "Go right ahead, _Mademoiselle_ Vilhelmina," he gushed. "Eef you need anyzing, let me know!" He practically bolted away.

Velma sighed and turned back to Anybodys, who was examining a row of leather garters nearby with interest. "Later," she said firmly. "Now, let's go look over there."

Anybodys made a face—she had liked the leather—but followed Velma obediently, crossing her arms over her chest self-consciously as she noticed the brassieres. She eyed them warily. At least the pansy was gone.

"So," said Velma as they crossed the store, "I thought we'd start with the basics, an' work our way from there. What kinda stuff would ya like?"

Anybodys shrugged, her eyes widening as she saw the various types of unmentionables. The only kind of lingerie she knew about was the kind her sister wore, and Anybodys tried not to have too much contact with those. "I dunno…" She considered saying something not slutty, but there again, that defeated the purpose of lingerie. "Nothin' lacy," she said right away. "An' nothin' frilly." Although, now that she thought about it, there were very few items here devoid of both.

Velma frowned. That ruled out...well, a lot. "Well," she considered, "let's get ya one of these" - she plucked a black satin bra and its matching panty off a table - "one of these" - she picked a forest green set this time - "and, oh—this one," she finished, grabbing a brown mesh babydoll and pushing them in the mauve Madame Mouchoir's shopper bag Philippe had left her with. "You can try 'em on and see how they fit."

Anybodys eyed the undergarments hesitantly. They weren't bad, really; no lace, no frills, and they weren't sissy colors. Pauline probably wouldn't be caught dead in something so not-slutty. Cheered immensely by this thought, Anybodys followed Velma, letting her arms drop to her sides. "This stuff…it ain't…y'know…y'know?" she asked, unwilling to sound stupid if she asked, "Is this stuff something Pauline would wear?"

Velma laughed--almost snorted, really, as she figured out what Anybodys didn't want to say. "Trust me, I've seen what Pauline likes," she said, shaking her head as she remembered the older girl's last session of show and tell, "an' this is _not_ it." She pointed Anybodys to the fitting room. "Go on, try 'em."

Anybodys sighed in relief. She took the bag from Velma and hesitated before going into one of the fitting rooms which, she noticed, had a cushioned bench and two full-length mirrors on the walls. She turned back to Velma, keeping her eyes on the bag. "Look, Velma…thanks," she mumbled before ducking into the fitting room and closing the white-painted door.

Velma stared after her, raising an eyebrow. First Anybodys had asked her to take her to Madame Mouchoir's, and now she had just _thanked_ her. Would wonders never cease? Shaking her head, Velma wandered to a nearby rack to take a look at a smoky gray set. Now, _this_ would be just the thing for later tonight, she thought happily.

Anybodys decided to try on the black undergarments with the babydoll first, although it took her a moment to decide between black and brown; she wasn't a girly girl and had no idea what looked best with what. She disrobed slowly, feeling more and more violated as she did so. Nobody was looking at her; there were only a few other people in the other stalls, giggling to each other, and Velma was outside, but she still felt as if she was on display for the whole world to see.

Finally, Anybodys shimmied into the underwear. She fumbled with the brassiere; she never wore them if she could help it, and none of the ones she had ever worn were, well, like _this_ one. She had to keep adjusting the clasps, but she finally found a notch that was comfortable. Anybodys caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and stared, open-mouthed; she looked completely different. And _damn_, were those breasts she saw?! "Son of a _bitch_," she said in awe.

Velma turned in alarm at the muffled exclamation, a thought striking her. "Wait, Anybodys," she hissed, hurrying back to the door, "ya know you're supposed to try the panties on over your own, right?"

Anybodys jumped at Velma's voice coming from the other side of the door. Upon assuring herself that Velma could not see her, she folded her arms over her chest, momentarily marveling at the way her arms didn't hit an entirely flat surface. "'Course I do; I ain't stupid, y'know. What, you think I want somethin' that's been on some other girl's…y'know…on mine?!"

Velma rolled her eyes. "Just makin' sure, Anybodys." She paused. "How're ya doin'? Want me to take a look?"

"No," Anybodys said at once, shielding herself just in case. "I…gimme a sec, okay?" Seeing that the door was firmly closed, Anybodys reached for the babydoll. She struggled with it for a little bit and muttered a few choice words under her breath, but she finally managed to wear it the way it was supposed to be worn (or so she assumed; she didn't really see how it could go any other way). She stared in the mirror for a moment, hardly believing what she was seeing. "Um…you can come in now," she said, uncertainty lacing her tone.

Velma opened the door and quickly slipped in. She turned to look at Anybodys; her eyes widened. "Wow," she finally said. Then she frowned. "Except...why are ya wearin' the bra underneath, Anybodys?"

Anybodys's face colored; nobody had told her you weren't supposed to wear bras with babydolls. She didn't even know what a babydoll was until today, didn't know that such things even existed. "Because," she said simply, as if she meant to do this all along.

Velma sighed internally. The poor girl had no idea. Great. "Tell ya what," she said tactfully, "I bet A-Rab will like it with or without. But, um—" she picked up the matching brown panty, "wear this one with it, OK? Now, how's everythin' fitting?"

Anybodys rarely felt this stupid; she _did_ put up with the Jets all day, and it was very difficult to _not_ feel smart after hanging around with those loons. Maybe this was why she preferred hanging around the Jets. "Fine," she said in a would-be indifferent voice.

Velma raised an eyebrow, then walked around Anybodys, eyeing her critically. "I think you could use a smaller size in the babydoll," she announced. "It's a little big. D'ya like it, though?"

Anybodys hesitated. She _liked_ it all right, and she knew A-Rab was going to like it too; this was _A-Rab_, after all. But she wasn't sure she was ready to _admit_ that she liked it. It just wasn't something she would _do_. She was Anybodys, the kid who wore jeans and t-shirts to dances. She shrugged. "Eh, it's okay," she said nonchalantly.

Velma hid a smirk. "OK, I'm going to get ya another one. You put on the green set; I'll be right back."

Anybodys waited until Velma was gone before pulling off the babydoll. She hurriedly shimmied out of the black set of underwear and into the green one. She liked this set a little better; it wasn't quite as shocking as black had been on her and seemed more natural. Well, if brassieres and panties were ever natural for Anybodys.

Velma knocked on the door, ready with the smaller size. "Hey, Anybodys, let me in."

Anybodys opened the door carefully, peering around to make sure no one else was outside before stepping back to let Velma in. She was aware of how little she was wearing and hoped she wasn't blushing too badly.

Velma closed the door behind her and turned to look Anybodys up and down. She smiled. "I like this one," she said approvingly. "It's a great color on ya."

Anybodys smiled back at Velma for a moment before catching herself and clearing her throat. "Um, yeah, it's okay." She nodded at the babydoll in Velma's hand. "That the smaller size?"

"Yeah," Velma said, a little bit shocked by the smile. She thrust the brown mesh at her. "Here, try it on. D'ya think you'll want anythin' more?"

Anybodys chewed her lip. Yes. "Um…"

Velma grinned. "You make sure that fits, an' I'll go take another look out there. Come out when you're done, okay?" Without waiting for an answer, Velma slipped out of the dressing room and headed toward the left of the store, where she'd seen something she was sure Anybodys would like.

Anybodys obeyed the minute Velma was out of the dressing room; she shimmied out of the green set and pulled on the brown babydoll—this time making sure to put on the brown panty that came with it. She couldn't help but smirk at her reflection; it didn't look half bad, if she did say so herself. She knew she'd been smart to ask Velma. Deciding that this was definitely going under her purchases, she changed back into her street clothes and went outside to wait for Velma.

Velma jerked her head at the tomboy. "C'mere," she called, then turned back to the pile of dark leather in her hands, grinning mischievously.

Anybodys came over to Velma, her eyes widening at the items in Velma's hands. "They _make_ those?" she mumbled, awed.

Velma smirked. "Just came out a week or two ago," she nodded, unable to hide her glee. "And, um—A-Rab seems the type to like that kinda thing, don't ya think?" she asked, unable to resist.

Anybodys gave Velma a scowl. It was true that A-Rab would probably get started without her if he saw her in such a thing, but she didn't exactly want Velma to know the details of her sex life. She prided herself on not spreading around her business. Unlike _some_ people. "He might," she said carefully.

Velma giggled. "See anythin' around ya like?" she asked, wisely deciding to change the subject.

Anybodys hesitated, glancing around. She had to applaud Velma for being able to find anything that wasn't frilly or lacy or just…girly. Because so far, that was what was surrounding her. She shook her head, staring at the ironic mannequin wearing a fluffy white babydoll with wings and a halo. "Nah; I'm good."

Velma studied her. For her first trip to Madame Mouchoir's, Anybodys was remarkably composed -she only hoped Minnie would take it this well when her turn came. Velma shrugged. "Okay, then. I saw a few things I wanna take a closer look at, though." She began heading to the front of the store, taking a path that lay between two tables covered in various entertaining, useful items.

Anybodys trailed behind Velma, glancing around at all of the different types of lingerie. A few women stared at her upon realizing that she was not Velma's short boyfriend taking her shopping, but was, in fact, a female. Anybodys glared at them and they quickly ducked behind the racks. She glanced at the tables and gasped. "What the _hell_ is that?!" she asked in a loud, carrying voice.

Velma was debating the merits of a rose-colored slip when she, along with every other customer in the store, heard Anybodys. She turned around and immediately blushed the same color as the slip when she saw what the girl was pointing at. "That?" repeated Velma, trying to hide her embarrassment. She actually didn't blush often, but memories of that particular product were definitely not suitable for public consumption. "That's, um—skin honey. It's—useful. In a lot of ways," she ended lamely.

Anybodys raised her eyebrows. "I don't get it. And I probably don't wanna," she added quickly, stepping away from the table as if it were diseased.

"No, no," disagreed Velma in a high, innocent voice, "I think you'd like it." She grabbed a bottle labeled "Chocolate Honey" and dropped it in Anybodys's bag. "Here, it's um—useful," she repeated. Then, remembering that she was running a little low herself, Velma took a bottle of "Vanilla Honey" for herself, studiously avoiding Anybodys's stare.

Anybodys shot a hand into the bag and fished out the bottle, scanning the product information. Her eyes widened. "You have _got_ ta," she began, her voice loud. Then she realized people were staring. "I mean," she said in a lower voice, "you have _got_ ta be kiddin' me!" she hissed.

Velma leaned forward meaningfully. "Anybodys," she whispered solemnly. "_Trust me_."

Anybodys gave her a skeptical look before dropping the bottle back in the bag. "If you say so," she grumbled, knowing that Velma probably knew what she was talking about.

"I do," said Velma firmly. Turning back to the slip, she frowned, then decided against it. "What d'ya think of this one, Anybodys?" Velma asked, holding up a charcoal-blue silk teddy trimmed with lace. The corners of her mouth turned up mischievously. "Think Ice'd like it?"

Anybodys's face turned red as she tried _not_ to imagine what Ice would think about the thing in Velma's hand. She shook her head, shrugging. "Hell if I know. He's _your_ fella, ain't he?"

"Yeah," agreed Velma, with a distinctly satisfied smirk. She giggled; the embarrassed flush on Anybodys's face was answer enough. Then she looked curiously at Anybodys. "You ain't been shoppin' with a girl before, have ya?"

Anybodys shrugged. She and her sister used to go shopping, back when it was okay to be a girl, back before she realized what kind of trouble being a girl could get you into. "Not for awhile."

Velma regarded her thoughtfully. Graziella would have squealed and run off to find one just like it, Clarice would have told her how very, very much Ice would appreciate it, and Pauline probably would have imagined herself in it with Ice. It was definitely different, shopping with Anybodys. "Yeah, I guess not," she finally said. Velma draped the smoky silk over her arm and picked up a body-skimming lavender slip. "This, too," she decided.

"They look nice, I guess," Anybodys said, shrugging again. She figured it was only polite to say something along those lines, but she wasn't entirely sure; she and Sissy used to throw clothes at each other and demand the other try it on, but that was about as close to complimenting each other they had ever gotten.

Velma smiled at her, amused and slightly touched. "Thanks, Anybodys." She blinked. "Oh! I forgot - you wouldn' have stockings, would ya? D'ya want 'em?"

Anybodys blinked back at her. "…do I need 'em?" she asked uncertainly.

Velma tilted her head, considering. "Maybe next time," she said, figuring Anybodys had enough to begin with. "'Sides," she added, grinning, "I doubt A-Rab'll be able to control himself when he sees ya, an' those things are delicate."

Anybodys sniggered. Velma had that right. Hell, she practically didn't even need this sexy stuff; all she had to do was walk around in one of his t-shirts and he would be on her in a second. She felt better about this shopping excursion; she felt like she and Velma shared some kind of special secret now.

Velma giggled. "'S amazing what boys'll do over just a little bit of silk an' lace, ain't it?" she said knowingly. She rolled her eyes. "Although—Ice loves it when I shop here, yeah, but he's just as happy when I'm just wearin' that old blue t-shirt of his, y'know? _Men_."

Anybodys's eyes widened. "_Really_?" she asked, intrigued that A-Rab was not the only male who went crazy when his girlfriend wore his t-shirts.

Velma nodded, rolling her eyes. "He just loves it; I don' know why. Okay," she said, holding up the shopper of lingerie she had picked up, "I gotta make sure these fit." She hesitated before smiling carefully at the tomboy. "Ya comin'?"

Anybodys blinked, surprised. "What, me?"

Velma giggled again. "Yeah, you. Someone's gotta tell me if this stuff makes me look fat, an' I ain't askin' Mouthpiece, am I?"

Anybodys snorted; Mouthpiece would die of happiness to see Velma in such attire. "As if you'd ever look fat," she said, rolling her eyes. That was part of the reason she was glad she wasn't a normal girl; she hated how they obsessed over looking fat and if they had man-shoulders and if their pores were too big.

Velma smirked. "You ain't such a bad shoppin' buddy after all, Anybodys," she pointed out as they reached the dressing rooms. She opened the door to her usual one and faced Anybodys. "You're catchin' on pretty quick. I'll be just a second."

Velma shut the door and sighed happily at the array of lingerie in her bag. Now, which to wear first? Her eyes landed on the steel-gray bra and panty. Might as well start with that one. She quickly slipped out of her clothes and pulled them on; this was practically second nature to her by now. "I'm ready," she called to Anybodys, opening the door slightly.

Anybodys's eyes widened as she came into the dressing room. "_Whoa_," she said in awe.

Velma studied herself critically in the mirrors, turning this way and that to catch all the angles. She liked the fit, but wondered if the color was maybe too harsh on her skin. Then again, it would definitely work at night... "What d'ya think, Anybodys?"

Anybodys paused. "'S'not bad," she finally decided. "Just…I dunno…it looks…outta place." She hoped Velma wouldn't be upset; she knew how girls could be, which was why she tended to avoid them.

Velma tilted her head, very slightly miffed, but also intrigued. "What d'ya mean?"

Anybodys rolled her eyes; she knew this would happen. "All I'm sayin' is that it looks too…I dunno. Makes ya look like ya ain't seen the sun in five years."

Velma considered this, eyeing her reflection. "Huh," she finally said with some surprise, "ya got a point. Okay, then."

Anybodys glanced at the pile on the bench. "Why don'tcha try the blue…thing?" she suggested. "I'll go wait." She slipped out of the dressing room, feeling almost…giddy. This was weird. But not in a bad way.

Velma shrugged, still semi-shocked by Anybodys's useful input. She hadn't really been expecting anything when she'd asked for her opinion, and it was definitely weird not having someone recommend she keep an unflattering color in hopes that by making her look pale as a ghost, that someone would finally get to sleep with Velma's boyfriend. She rolled her eyes. _Pauline_. Shaking her head, she unhooked the bra and stepped out of the panties, deftly changing them for the charcoal-blue teddy. This was definitely better.

Anybodys cleared her throat. "You done?" she asked Velma through the door.

Velma jumped. "Oh, yeah," she said, letting Anybodys in.

Anybodys shut the door behind her. Her eyebrows shot up. "It looks…_good_," she said, a little envious of just _how_ good Velma looked in it.

"Really?" Velma smiled, pleased. She was beginning to realize the benefits of shopping with an honest girl. At least she knew Anybodys meant what she said. "It _is _his favorite color an' all..."

Anybodys gave a small smile. "Bet he'd go crazy. You should get it."

Velma's lips curved up even more. "Yeah," she agreed, "I will. Let me just try this last one, an' then we can go pay," she suggested. At Anybodys's nod, she closed the door, stepped out of the teddy, and pulled the lavender slip on. She nodded. The neckline was just low enough, and she liked the way the lace hem ended just at mid-thigh. This would be perfect for sleeping. Velma grinned. And not sleeping, too. She opened the door again.

Anybodys stepped into the room, surveying Velma as she shut the door. It looked pretty good on her; but there again, there wasn't much that didn't look good on Velma. She nodded. "You should get that one, too."

Velma nodded happily. "Okay, Anybodys. Gimme a sec, and I'll be right out." Shutting the door after the tomboy, Velma pulled the straps off her shoulders and let the slip puddle around her ankles before tugging her sweater and skirt back on. She took a minute to re-check her hair and makeup, then stepped out of the dressing room with her shopper and purse. "Ya ready?"

Anybodys nodded, following the older girl to the checkout counter. She let Velma pay for her purchases first, wanting to see how it was done so she wouldn't make an idiot of herself; she had already done enough of that today. As she was waiting in line, she saw a box of odd-looking items. Peering at them, her mouth fell open. "What are _those_?!" she asked loudly.

Velma, in the middle of counting twenty dollar bills from the stack she'd gotten earlier from Ice, glanced at the box and turned bright red again. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Velma was relieved when Madame Mouchoir herself saved her from having to answer.

"Zat, my dear," she said, looking sternly through her spectacles at Anybodys as she wrapped Velma's purchases and tucked them into a bag, "is an eenstrument of ze greatest pleasure. Eet is not for beginners." Then she smiled at Velma and spoke in an entirely different tone of voice: "'Ere you are, _ma cherie_, and _une petite surprise_, also. _À la prochaine_!"

Anybodys looked at them in horror for a moment before looking away pointedly. "Never mind. I don't wanna know." She frowned. "Hey, isn't that…Pauline?" Her face turned chalk-white as the realization that Pauline Marcus was here hit her.

Velma, taking the bag from Madame Mouchoir, whipped her head around. "Oh, _damn_," she whispered. She looked back at Anybodys. "I don' think ya want her to see ya, do ya?"

Anybodys gave Velma a look. "Are ya crazy?!" she hissed. "O' course not! Whadda we do?!"

Velma's mind raced. "I—okay, look, I'll go distract her while you pay an' get outta here." She winced; Velma didn't like talking to Pauline normally, let alone in here. "Make it quick," she added pleadingly, before hurrying to head Pauline off before she could see Anybodys.

Anybodys reached into her jeans pocket and pulled out a wad of crumpled up bills, dropping them on the counter in front of Madame Mouchoir, whose nose turned up in disapproval. "Can ya make it quick?" she asked anxiously, glancing over at Velma and Pauline and drumming her fingers on the countertop.

"Eef you eenseest," Madame Mouchoir sniffed.

"Hey, Pauline," said Velma brightly as she came to a stop in front of the older girl, carefully blocking Pauline's view of the counter. "What're ya doin' here?"

Pauline flashed a grin at Velma. There was only one reason why Velma would be here, and if she was lucky, Pauline might be able to dig up some gossip. "Velma, _doll_! How _are_ you?"

Velma forced a smile. "Oh, just peachy, Pauline," she trilled. "Just...gettin' some stuff. An' you?"

"Oh, the same," Pauline said, giving a tinkling little laugh. Or what she thought was a tinkling little laugh, anyway. "I need some new…things." She winked at Velma, as if Velma did not already know what she was here for. "So. How's Ice?"

Velma groaned internally. She knew that the best way to distract Pauline was to talk about one of the few guys the older girl had never been able to snag, and yet...Ice was not going to be happy. "Oh, he's great!" she said lightly. "Actually, I'm meetin' him later!"

Pauline had to contain her glee; this was too good to be true! "Oh, really?" she asked in a would-be nonchalant voice. "Goin' on a date?"

"Yeah," Velma nodded, praying that Pauline would stop there. She knew better, though. "We're, um—goin' to the Park."

Pauline batted her eyelashes innocently. "Oh, _really_? Well, that sounds fun! Will ya be, y'know…_doin'_ anything?"

Velma felt her cheeks turn pink as she hefted her shopping bag. "Well...maybe afterward," she hedged, desperately hoping Anybodys was almost done.

Back at the counter, Madame Mouchoir was very carefully wrapping each and every item in alternating sheets of white, black, and mauve tissue paper and securing them with a ribbon bow. Anybodys watched her with growing frustration.

"Will ya hurry up?!" she hissed, careful to keep her voice low.

Madame Mouchoir stopped and fixed her spectacled gaze on Anybodys. "Ze young people zese days," she murmured, shaking her head. "Always in a hurry."

Anybodys groaned. "Just hurry up, lady, will ya?!"

Back over by the corsets, Pauline smirked. "Ooh; is that for tonight?" she asked, pointing to the bag.

Velma froze. "Maybe." She watched in horror as Pauline deftly plucked the bag from her hands and peered inside.

Pauline squealed. "Oh, _Velma_!" she exclaimed, holding up the bottle of "Vanilla Honey."

At the counter, Madame Mouchoir rang up the total and sniffed at Anybodys. "Zat weel be forty-nine-fifty."

Anybodys's mouth fell open. "Ya gotta be kiddin' me!" she exclaimed. "I ain't payin' that much; it's all gonna come off anyway, ain't it?!"

Madame Mouchoir smirked at her. "Well, dear, eef you do not want eet…"

Anybodys scowled. "Make it forty-_one_-fifty," she said loudly, alarming several nearby customers.

Madame Mouchoir glared. "Forty-nine. I weel knock off fifty-cents eef you stop annoying ze customers."

Anybodys folded her arms over her chest. "Forty-two."

Madame Mouchoir folded her own arms over her chest. "Forty-eight-fifty."

Anybodys scoffed. "Forty-two-fifty."

"Forty-eight."

"Forty-three."

"Forty-seven."

"Forty-four."

"Forty-six."

"Forty-five."

They glared at each other for a moment before Madame Mouchoir sighed. "Forty-five-fifty. Final offer."

Anybodys considered it.

Meanwhile, Velma felt all the blood drain out of her face as she watched Pauline rifle through the rest of the bag. "Um—yeah," she said weakly, taking deep, steadying breaths. Forget unhappy, Ice was going to _kill_ her. "It's, um—useful."

"_Oh_," Pauline said in a voice of sympathetic understanding. "Ice has trouble getting started, doesn't he?"

Velma came to life at this slight on her boyfriend. "Oh, _no_," she said, shaking her head vigorously. "Ice _never_ has trouble—I mean, he's _always_ ready for—" She clapped a hand to her mouth and lapsed back into silence. "I mean, we just—like that stuff," she amended, mortified.

Pauline smirked. "Oh, I _see_."

Anybodys snatched up the bag from Madame Mouchoir as soon as she dropped the receipt into it. "Good luck gettin' _my_ money again!" she snapped. She waved over at Velma to indicate she was finished and scurried out the door, knocking over two blondes as she did so.

Velma sighed in relief as she saw Anybodys dart out of the store. "Well—it's been nice seein' ya, Pauline, but—I really gotta go," she said, grabbing her bag out of Pauline's hands and edging away. "Gotta get ready, an' all of that..."

Pauline smirked. "Oh, but of course." She leaned forward conspiratorially. "An' if I were you, Vel, I would try the lavender slip and the skin honey. Just in case ya need some…help." She winked at Velma and sashayed down the aisle.

Velma dropped her head into her hands. Oh, God, she thought as she made her escape, Pauline was never going to leave Ice alone after this. Opening the door, she saw Anybodys waiting anxiously to her left. Utterly traumatized, Velma glared at her. "_You owe me_," was all she could say.

Anybodys scoffed. "You're lucky this ain't even my money, 'cause I ain't never shoppin' in that place again! She charged me fifty bucks! _Fifty_! For stuff nobody's gonna see, or if they will, he's gonna rip it off anyway!"

Velma stared at her. "I just spent the last fifteen minutes talkin' about my sex life to _Pauline_, who now, for some reason, thinks that Ice can't get it up," she said flatly. "I win."

Anybodys sucked in her cheeks. "Oh. Yeah, well, I guess ya would, then." She hesitated. "_Does_ he…?"

"_No_," Velma growled. "Ice _loves_ sex. Ice is _always ready_ for sex. Ice has _no trouble_ gettin' it up. _We just like the way the vanilla tastes, okay?" _And with that, she stalked off down the street.

Anybodys chased after Velma. "Velma! Hey!" She grabbed the older girl's arm, effectively stopping her. "Look, I'm sorry. I was just askin'." She looked down at the ground. "Look…thanks. For…everything." She bit her lip. "I…I couldn't-a asked any of the other girls ta do this. So…thanks." She hesitated and then threw her arms around Velma in a quick hug before releasing her and darting down the street.

Velma stared after her, unable to believe anything that had just happened. She shook her head slowly as she headed back to her place. Anybodys...lingerie...Pauline... She winced. She was suddenly glad for her purchases: she had a feeling Ice's life was going to be hell for the next few weeks, and if Velma knew her boyfriend, there was no better way to start making up for it than the bag in her hands.

-

A-Rab would've grinned if his mouth was not otherwise occupied. He was reclining on Anybodys's couch, the lights dimmed, the apartment theirs for the rest of the night, and she was straddling him, kissing him until his thoughts fuzzed. His hand, which was gripping her waist, moved to tug at her shirt. She pulled back and he tried to hide his disappointment.

"Gimme a sec," she said, sitting up. "I gotta pee."

A-Rab groaned as she slid off of him, moving to the bathroom. He ran his hand through his hair. He cupped his hand over his mouth and exhaled, sniffing his breath. He hoped she wasn't hiding because he had bad breath. Deciding that he had fine breath and she really did just have to pee, he cleared his throat. "So, I heard the funniest thing about Ice today," he said, loud enough for Anybodys to hear him from the bathroom.

The door opened and his jaw fell open, all thoughts of Ice's deficiencies in bed forgotten as he saw Anybodys leaning in the doorway, clad in nothing but a brown mesh babydoll and a smirk. "Ya like?" she said rather than asked.

A-Rab could only nod dumbly. "Oh yeah. I like."


End file.
